its just life

i waste most of my time , wondering why i wont be good enough for anyone. But it's weird that the most nonsense reasons that i dealt every breakup is just ''you're way too good for me, i don't deserve you and you deserve someone better'' . Its just that there will always be questions in my head about this . Its just when this excuses came out from their mouth , it doesn't make sense at all . I thought if you're too good for them , they will keep you and be the best version of them on trying the best to be the best for you. Be good for you , just for you cause isn't it how love suppose to be like? but they didn't. They left you for that nonsense reason and here you are wondering why you wont be good enough . If you're good enough they'll keep you . I guess that's just how life works , or maybe they're not meant for you and you have to accept it and don't put the blame on yourself or maybe it is true after all you're actually too good for them and you deserve someone better but deep down your heart you are actually hoping for them to change. still it wont happen . It seems like this girl need to wait again again and again , someone will come into her life and will fill the empty spots in her heart .

I learn something new .

I learn something new today . It is just that no matter how hard you are trying to fix things and be kind to someone , they can always twisted it. The words. Only my circle of friends know what happen . Ain being ain , if i know that this is about to happen in the first place i wont be too kind . It is weird that , it is their faults and they blame you for it ' again' . Just because they don't want to lose.The game that we're playing right now . I don't want to twist the words , i don't live for the lies. Thats why i am always hurt with the truth. The truth that i keep into myself. It is weird that they can always be honest ,being honest is completely not a sin but they refused too. Whose at faults now ? I came in peace, we agreed. But then you put yourself back in fire and thats it. There is no turning back because i once read this article about a good heart. Here is the thing about people with good heart. They gave you excuses when you don't explain yourself. They accept apologies you don't give.  They see the best in you , when you don't need them to . At your worst , they lift you up, even if it means putting their priorities aside.The word ' busy' does not exist in their dictionary. They make time , even when you don't. And you wonder why they're the most sensitive people. You wonder why they're the most caring people. You wonder why they willing to give you so much of themselves with no expectation in return. You wonder why their existence is not essential to your well-being. It's because they don't make you work hard for the attention they give you . They accept the love they think they've earned and you accept the love you think you entitled to. Let me tell you something, fear the day when a good heart gives up on you . Our skies don't become grey out of no where. Our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason . ''A heart does not turn cold unless it's been treated with coldness for awhile'' and thats it . Thats what i learn. 

to the one that used to love me .

Despite all the things that happen , i cant say that i hate you for that . I cant hate people easily even though deep down i know , i should have hate you for this . For quiting us. But i realise that you are just another lesson for me and that is the thing that i should consider before hating you . I cant hate the person who use to make my day , who make me smile and laugh like an completely idiot ,who helps me in any circumstances , who cheer me up whenever i felt like the world is trumbling down ,who always be with me when im down , who accompany me every single day and who never gets tired of me but now you do and thats the different story . I know that this is going to end as in a relationship isn't about a person , its about two person who collides and make it happens. I wish i could fix this , i did change and i tried my best to make it happen again but as i said before relationship isnt about a person. I cant continue this if i did not get the same energy from you.I had enough and knowing that my best isnt the best yet it hurts . I think i should stop here and continue living my life to the paths that i want but still i hope someday our paths did cross each other again cause there is no single day i stop thinking about you ,everytime i walk by the place that we use to go i still can feel and see how happy we were back then and it hurts but i think someday i will just get used to this again . Thank you dear , for making me happy even though it is just for awhile . I know this is what you want , i love you for the last <3

say hellooo back to blogsppot !

Its been ages since the last time i use blogs!!!

Back then when i was 12 , im not mature enough to write things ,its more to judging and you know my boring basic life. But since right now , im already 18 and basically im an University Students .Time flies so fast , i never thought that i would be this kind of person now. I mean maybe my mind are wise now lol hahaha , gotta say that my life still full with dramas but you know as a normal human being you need to deal it in any circumstances . I want to start my blogs in terms of fashion ,or maybe i could give an inspirations idea or words to every person who feel or getting through the same things like i do . Hello wello , its good to be back after years 

love,ain.